10 Small Acts of Courage in 2023

I didn’t run into any burning buildings or fight on the front lines, but this is what stepping out in courage looked like for me this year.

10. I tried a French tuck.

Now, you may think this is not courageous, but in my four-plus decades, I have never tucked in my shirt, let alone just the front of it. However, after enough encouragement from Tan on Queer Eye, I gave this casual yet polished look a try.

Each time I ventured out in public, I was convinced people were staring. Who does she think she is tucking in the front of her shirt and not the back? That was shame talking, and I have Brené Brown’s book Rising Strong to thank for recognizing that.

But I’ll let you know what. I can now tuck with the best of them. I guess suffering through the worst flu ever in January when all I could do was catch up on Queer Eye episodes was a blessing in disguise.

9. I attempted bouldering.

My daughter decided that indoor rock climbing was the perfect place for our monthly mother-daughter day. I went in scared to try something so far out of my comfort zone, but the staff graciously welcomed and guided us novices.

I learned about loose chalk and chalk balls, bouldering, and that climbing shoes run a little small. For anyone new to bouldering, like us, it looked like climbing up a very short wall—so no ropes needed—with padding underneath.

My daughter and I shared a new experience, and I managed not to throw my back out or tear a hamstring, so all-in-all a successful day for this non-athletic mom.

8.  I ventured back into the world of social media.

My posts are less than perfect and are evolving in real time, but I’m out of my introverted cave. By the way, it just so happens to be World Introvert Day at the time of this writing.

I’m working on setting social media time limits and other boundaries for a positive and healthy experience. Check out what Harvard professor/happiness expert Arthur C. Brooks says about this.

Let’s connect on Instagram @kellymsicard or LinkedIn!

7. I shared some writing publicly.

See #8 regarding introversion. If I could write all day in my room safe from the world I would, but something moved me in 2023, an unexpected invisible force.

I’ve shown my writing is far from perfect, and it’s hard to look someone directly in the eye when I know they’ve read something of mine, but as Elizabeth Gilbert says in Big Magic, “....if I want creativity in my life—and I do—then I will have to make space for fear, too” (24).

6. I submitted an essay to a contest and didn’t place.

I definitely didn’t expect to place in this popular contest, but jumping into the deep end allowed me to get comfortable with taking risks. It also pushed me to continue revising with peer reviewers for a piece that is now stronger than ever.

5. I invited peer reviewers to critique a personal essay on a tough topic.

To move forward, we need to be open to feedback. I had the great opportunity to ask a handful of peers for their help, and they delivered. Not only did they answer my specific questions, but they picked up on things I never noticed and asked me the hard questions. Peer reviewers are pure gold.  

4. I had hard conversations when they were needed.

I’ve learned from the past and tried to keep these conversations short and focused on my needs. They may not have gone perfectly, but I sincerely tried my best to offer respect to myself and others. There is always more room to grow in this area.

3. I started working with business mentors.

I knew I needed help if I wanted to become who I was meant to be, so I sought out a SCORE business mentor to keep me focused, accountable, and in a reality mindset.

If you are looking to start a business, SCORE is a dynamite non-profit organization that has been helping small businesses since 1964. They offer free business mentoring, free webinars and courses on demand, and extensive online resources that have served more than 11 million entrepreneurs!

2. I decided to pursue writing fully.

I experienced a shift from a season of waiting to a new season of making. I trust myself more than ever. I can do more. I’m ready.

1. I accepted that the mother I hoped I would be is not the mother I am.

When I became a working mom, my sensory system had taken a hit, and during those early years, especially, I felt myself slipping away. As a highly sensitive person turned parent, my hardwired need for ample sleep, solitude, quiet, and order seemed to run counter to parenting in general.

Also, for many reasons, the way I grew up would not look quite the same for my daughter. Despite my desire, I am not the mom regularly flipping homemade pancakes in the morning and pulling warm cookies out of the oven upon the school bus’s return. This may only happen a few times a year if all the stars align.

My home isn’t a hub for parties and gatherings, and I can’t seem to keep it as tidy as I would like—a constant weight for my Type A personality. Black dog fur lines our white baseboards and mountains of dirty dishes pile up on the kitchen counter despite my constant efforts.

I will, though, be the mom who thinks deeply about how she wants to raise her child. The one who tries unceasingly to make connections between work and after-school activities, such as with the dry-erase board message center pictured above.

I’ll favor listening and asking questions over advice-giving, and teach about boundaries and positive self-talk. I will be the mom who understands that becoming the best version of myself is one of the greatest gifts I can give my child.

What did stepping out in courage look like for you in 2023?
What do you hope it looks like in 2024?
The steps could be big or small.
It all matters.

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